wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
