Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
