Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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