it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
