Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize