i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
