When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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