i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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