They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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