She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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