I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
