i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
In America we eat man semen.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
