but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize