Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
