you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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