hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
