I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
