Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
