Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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