Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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