just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
