i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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