have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I did not marry a roomba.
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