I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize