Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
