a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
