well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
