Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i would punch a child for taco bell
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
