I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Blood and glitter go together right?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
