Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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