it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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