I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
