Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
