He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
