i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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