The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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