I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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