Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
