I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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