I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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