i love accidental penises.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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