Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
