just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize