areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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