Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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