Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize