k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
