i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
