My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
