I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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