Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
