maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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