New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
