so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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