Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Everything about him screamed your future.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
