she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
