sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
