It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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