well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
