Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
