I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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