Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
